Attractions of a Carnal Nature
by chaosticsoul
Summary: The musings of Ayumu on his new obsession, Eyes Ruthford. But is this an obsession? A unyielding lust? A desperate love? Perhaps even a doomed man's last wish . . ? DARK! *On Hold Indefinitely*
1. Secret Obsession: 1

He would never tell a soul

Attractions of a Carnal Nature

By: Chaosticsoul  
Genre: Angst/Romance  
Paring: Eyes/Ayumu  
Summary: The musings of Ayumu on his new obsession, Eyes Ruthford. But is this an obsession? A unyielding lust? A desperate love? Perhaps even a doomed man's last wish . . ?  
Disclaimer: I do not own Spiral.  
Warnings: DARK! Mentions of rape, incest, abuse, self mutilation, suicide, death . . . get the picture? And lets not forget yaoiy goodness, and its also AU.

Part: 1/?

-Secret Obsession: 1-

He would never tell a soul.

It was the attraction of the silver hair and deep blue eyes . . . . they swallowed him whole. The shot from _him_ about his brother, it meant nothing. Not when _he_ was there. _He_ was all that mattered in that moment.

How do I know? How could I know his innermost thoughts as he looked at one of the blade children?

I am he; Ayumu Narumi.

I could never tell anyone about the attraction that hit me or of the arousal that still lingers in my mind. His voice, his cold looks—they make me want to reach out and touch it, make me want to protect that cool indifference. This is one large difference from my brother. I can love.

_"What kind of man would tell someone how to kill his brother?"_

My brother would. I saw the cold, cruel nature within, while all everyone saw was perfection. Maybe the blade children saw it too. I doubt it though. A cheap imitation of my brother? His music always sounded like mine, and I though I was imitating him, but it was him. He was always taking my talents and making them his own, never being who he truly was. My piano, my song, he stole it from me . . .

But Eyes is different. He perhaps even saw through my façade. My love of music is something my brother never had. Tossing the piano aside as another talent mastered. Just as he did me. I was just another thing to master—he wasn't so damn perfect in the night. When I was nine he molested me. He swore to love me. Bullshit. He was just mastering me, making me dependent on him, and it worked. When he left I was so shocked. He had trained me well, and even now I shudder at anyone's touch.

But Eyes, I long for his. Anyone else and I know I would shy away, but I want to see him again, if even for a moment. I want to touch him, and have him control me. I want to feel his slap, and feel his caress. Taste his blood, tears, cum.

I bought his CDs. I stare at the images while listening to the music, and feel myself drown in the arousal his image and music forces on me. I am too well trained though to ever relieve myself. I taped the commercial, and watched it repeatedly. I recorded a concert of his and watch his fingers run over the keys, and imagine them touching my flesh. When he arrived I ad taped the news for some reason. Now I watch him demand to see me, and moan at the thought of what else he could demand from me.

He is my desire, my master, and my downfall.

I have no self confidence for a reason you know.


	2. Voice: 2

Attractions of a Carnal Nature

By: Chaosticsoul  
Genre: Angst/Romance  
Paring: Eyes/Ayumu  
Summary: The musings of Ayumu on his new obsession, Eyes Ruthford. But is this an obsession? A unyielding lust? A desperate love? Perhaps even a doomed man's last wish . . ?  
Disclaimer: I do not own Spiral, I just use it for my own sick pleasure  
Warnings: DARK! Mentions of rape, incest, abuse, self mutilation, suicide, death . . . get the picture? And lets not forget yaoiy goodness, solo, anal, oral, humiliation, slave . . . and its also VERY AU (just takes a few facts from here and there . . . )

Part: 2/?

-Voice: 2-

I never expected to orgasm without my brother's direct command. I really didn't. He had trained me so well I can't bring myself to do anything sexual without his permission. So it was a surprise, and I felt his influence leave me, even if it was just a bit. But it is still there. As is the cold fact—I have a new master.

Eyes.

It was just his voice. He was being interviewed, I could hear it on the news. I ran downstairs, and saw to my relief that my sister-in-law was gone. I went back (thank god for TiVo) and watched from the beginning (recording it onto my tape of course). His voice was so intense that in no time I felt the familiar heat rushing through me.

Then he said my name.

My name on his lips made me moan, head thrown back in ecstasy. His voice was rushing over me and I could almost hear him telling me that I was his slut, and that I was his alone. His voice was like dark chocolate, bitter sweet and oh so desirable.

I could hear his breath and wondered what it would be like to have him panting as he fucked me, moaning as my body gave him pleasure, moaning as he raped me like my brother had. I felt the pleasure intensify as I imagined it, and he spoke my name again, and I screamed.

Intense pleasure passed through me, and I was shaking by the time it passed. My breath was labored but I felt so free.

I had had no ones permission to cum. Not my brothers, but I did not feel guilty for disobeying. I felt a sort of freedom.

For while I may never be free of a master, at least I had chosen him.


	3. Sacrifice: 3

Attractions of a Carnal Nature

By: Chaosticsoul  
Genre: Angst/Romance  
Paring: Eyes/Ayumu  
Summary: The musings of Ayumu on his new obsession, Eyes Ruthford. But is this an obsession? A unyielding lust? A desperate love? Perhaps even a doomed man's last wish . . ?  
Disclaimer: I do not own Spiral.  
Warnings: DARK! Mentions of rape, incest, abuse, self mutilation, suicide, death . . . get the picture? And lets not forget yaoiy goodness, solo, anal, oral, humiliation, slave . . . and its also VERY AU (just takes a few facts from here and there . . . )

AN: Shit hit the fan. Was in a car accident, dad was having troubles, just alot of stuff. Sorry for the wait.

Part: 3/?

-Sacrifice: 3-

I saw him today.

Just for a second, when I looked again he was gone. But in that moment I was stripped naked in front of all those people, feeling him going deeper and deeper in me. Hen the harsh reality crashed around me, and I pressed on towards school.

The editor of the newspaper has been a help, helping me find footage of Eyes and pictures, any information. She doesn't press me on this, or why I have started playing the piano again. Only when I'm alone or with her though. I want to regain my own sound.

She's found countless videos, pictures, sound files and information. In five minuets they're burnt to DVD and I go home. Turning on my computer I stare at the screen, watching as pictures go by, and I hear his voice and music playing. On one of his original pieces I can feel his desire. It is only a preview of the song, a new song to be released next month, but it is enough.

That desire I sense make my body burn and crave his touch even more. Feeling of longing that flicker in the back of my mind come to the forefront and I need him. I need his touch, his force, his eyes burning into me. I need his cock in my ass, raping me with no regard for my well being.

I can imagine him taking me, enjoying breaking my body, making me scream. There will be no love on his part, I have lived long enough not to expect it or believe it, but there will be lust. Lust is all I need my master to feel, because I will supply the unending love, loyalty and pleasure.

My master just needs to accept my sacrifice.


	4. Phantom Pains: 4

Attractions of a Carnal Nature

By: Chaosticsoul  
Genre: Angst/Romance  
Paring: Eyes/Ayumu  
Summary: The musings of Ayumu on his new obsession, Eyes Ruthford. But is this an obsession? A unyielding lust? A desperate love? Perhaps even a doomed man's last wish . . ?  
Disclaimer: I do not own Spiral, I just use it for my own sick pleasure ^_^  
Warnings: DARK! Mentions of rape, incest, abuse, self mutilation, suicide, death . . . get the picture? And lets not forget yaoiy goodness, solo, anal, oral, humiliation, slave . . . and its also VERY AU (just takes a few facts from here and there . . . )  
AN:  
To SuspendedSilverWing:  
Thank you so much for your review~ It was very encouraging and just really awesome. Yes, I am pretty much okay from the car accident, though the car was totaled. My side took the most damage but I only got some (quite painful) bruises. And no one will be asking him that. Because there is no good answer x3 because eyes has pretty hair. There, that's why. =D

Part: 4/?

-Phantom Pains: 4-

It hurts today.

My arm had been hurting along where the scar is, and is accompanied by a burning pain, as if Ihe/I is hunting me again. He would wound me, breaking bones or slashing skin, then let me run. When I was hiding, praying he wouldn't find me, he would appear before me. He would roughly pull me out of my hiding spot, and then force me to my knees. Sometimes he would make me suck on him, and sometimes he would just beat me more.

It hurt.

Those weren't the worse days though. The worse was when his friends would come over. He would have me chained to his bed naked, letting the touch me. I had no say, in fact if I said anything I was hurt. But he was possessive. He had set boundaries on what they could do. They could touch me anywhere, say whatever they wanted, but never any more. Once when he left the room to get a phine call one of his friend forced into me, making me scream. I called for my brother, and he came running. He broke the guy's arm and sent everyone from the house.

He was sweet to me after that happened. He held me for hours, letting me cry as I shook from the fear. My brother had never fucked me without preparing me and using lubricant. That man had, and it had hurt so much. It was time like this that I loved my master more than anyone.

But now he's gone.

He left to fin the blade children, and never came back to me. He could be dead. He could be with his new slut, memory of me forgotten. I'm sure he told the blade children about me, I can see it in the way some of them look at me, in the way that I feel a stab of shame when they mention my brother in any way. I can still see my brother forcing me to be his slut, raping me in front of others, and I can feel the loss now that he's gone.

My master is gone, and I have no one to control me except for these memories . . .

. . . and my phantom pains.


	5. Force: 5

Attractions of a Carnal Nature

By: Chaosticsoul  
Genre: Angst/Romance  
Paring: Eyes/Ayumu  
Summary: The musings of Ayumu on his new obsession, Eyes Ruthford. But is this an obsession? A unyielding lust? A desperate love? Perhaps even a doomed man's last wish . . ?  
Disclaimer: I do not own Spiral.  
Warnings: DARK! Mentions of rape, incest, abuse, self mutilation, suicide, death . . . get the picture? And lets not forget yaoiy goodness, solo, anal, oral, humiliation, slave . . . and its also VERY AU (just takes a few facts from here and there . . . )  
Part: 5/?

-Force: 5-

I was raped.

It was by someone I didn't know.

And it scared me more than I though possible.

I cried, calling for my brother or Eyes, but no one came to save me. They are both my masters, but I guess I am not enough for them to trouble themselves with. Not that I expected differently. But feeling someone except my masters violate me feels so wrong.

. . .

I have showered, and the water was near boiling, but despite that and that my skin is almost rubbed raw, I can still feel it. Being uses is not new to me, but being used by someone other than my masters is. It is a cold reality, and I try to bare it, but I feel so scared. If it happens again, what shall I do?

Shall I just lie there and let anyone have their way? Shall I keep trying to fight?

I lay on my bead wearing nothing and let the cool air caress me. I flip on the TV and instantly hear the newscaster screaming about a horrible murder. I look and see the man who had attacked me. He hadn't beed dead long, and it seemed as if he had been tortured before being killed. I then saw the flowers around his body, and I knew my master knew what happened.

I turned from the TV to my window and see him crouched there, looking right at me. Our eyes lock for a second before I bow my head in submission. He walks closer and I feel him run his smooth hand over my raw skin. I hiss, but it is barely audible.

"Ayumu . . . you are mine now . . ."

The words I have longed to hear.

I look up into my new master's ice blue eyes and tentatively reach out and touch his silver hair.

"My master . . . "

"Mine"


End file.
